for the past few weeks i've been taking something called the 'mood formula' from the friendly local gnc store. the reason i got it was because, truthfully, i think the crazies run in my blood. especially after my baby has gotten curious about a lot more things than she ever was and i had to keep a rein on her every moment she's awake, i had to also learn to keep my temper in check.

because of the unnecessary extra feelings of stress that i had this past month (see previous post), i had been taking the pills once a day, every day (instead of as and when), for the past 2 weeks. and i must say that they do the job pretty damn well. whatever feelings of anger that i might have had seems to dissipate and gets sucks back to where it came from in a matter of seconds. somehow, the mind takes over the heart and says, "take a step back, you, i'm in charge here."

so anyways, because of the thing that happened yesterday, i knew i was really feeling low and down, and i knew that i had a great urge to cry, and i thought having a great, big bawl will make the bad things go away, and guess what? the tears just wouldn't come. uh-huh, i'm not lying! i had a tear, two at the most, run down my cheek (yes, cheek, coz only the right eye was tearing) and then after that i realised that i wasn't sad anymore.

and this morning, i can't help feeling a bit down still and tried to force myself to cry, and lo and behold, the tears wouldn't come at all. amazing! if i were to not have taken those pills, would i have still be in control of my emotions? i think not.

but i can't help to wonder though, is it really healthy to suppress the emotions like this? but technically i'm not really suppressing, because although i can feel it, i just can't emote it like i used to.

and maybe, sooner or later, i'll be less of a drama-mama. hhmmmm...